Frisco Bible has an amazing couple leading the youth, Kris and Amy Keith. Amy invited me to be a part of a get together for teen girls from my church called "Junk Food and Jesus". It was an opportunity for junior high and high school girls to indulge in some yummy food while listening in on how God is working or has worked in "older" womens' lives.
So here's the first thing . . . I'm now considered an "older" woman. Sigh. Weep. Tears. I never thought it would happen to me. Alas.
And the second thing? I am totally enjoying being around these godly young women! What an encouragement for me as a mother of five children to see our Lord evident in their lives. Parenting along with the Holy Spirit works!
The topic, shared by Heather, was about friendships - the Best Friend Forever kind. She talked about her struggles early on in life in making and keeping a BFF. Her difficulty in friendship continued throughout high school, college, and early adulthood. Friendship after friendship ended much to her disappointment and sadness. She went on to talk about how she came to understand the one True Friend, Jesus, never left her, disappointed her, or rejected her. He is her BFF.
Like Heather, I have suffered some disappointments in friendships. Most of those disappointments were due to my own inflated expectations of others through no fault of their own. Quality time with friends is one of my favorite things. There is nothing better than being silly and talking deep and serious with a like-minded friend. My end of the friendship seemed needier than the other half and would end in my overly-sensitive hurt feelings.
I've also made the mistake of jumping into a friendship with both feet and eyes closed. So wrapped up in the excitement of a new "bestie" that I missed the warning signs of "Unhealthy Road Ahead". I allowed my self-worth, joy, and near existence to be placed on the shoulders of someone who didn't want or need the extra weight of me. Can you see where this is heading? To follow the road analogy, I crashed head first into a barricade of disappointment and reality.
You see, God would not have me place my all-n-all in anyone or anything other than Him. And that is exactly what I had done. He used my choice of friend before Father as an opportunity to gently correct me. The blinders were removed from my eyes and He allowed me to see my friend as human. As fallible. Undeserving of my devotion and worship. It was not an exercise in criticism toward her. It was a command to place my worship at the feet of His throne, to offer only Him the praise of my lips, to seek to please only Him in word, thought, and deed.
My Sweet Lord has been patient and loving over my grieving of the end of the friendship. He has proven o'er and o'er that He is my eternal Best Friend. Hebrews 13:5b says " . . . for He has said, 'I will never leave you and I will never abandon you''. Relationships are given and taken away for many reasons. No matter how many earthly BFFs God has blessed me with, I can be certain of a relationship with Him. Even if my best friend contact list is as dry as the Sahara, I am assured of His desire for an eternal kinship with me. Why else would He give His Son as a sacrifice for my sins so that I may live in His palace where time does not end?
Thank you Lord, for your friendship.
P.S. - More to come on friendships, relational growth, and His gift of friends. I must be a slow learner for His lessons are never ending!
Be blessed,
Niki
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Forgiveness is not an option!
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Read along as Jennifer Haeg shares how God used our retreat speaker, Bonnie Floyd, to soften her heart regarding unforgiveness.
There are SO many things that hit me this weekend, but forgiveness is what stood out when I prayed about what to write. When asked if I wanted to write about my experience at the women's retreat, I immediately thought, "Yes!". It was such a fabulous weekend that I couldn't help but want to tell people about it!
Let me start by saying that I went into the weekend not sure of how I needed to grow exactly. Sure, there are things I should work on, but none of them seemed like major things. Well, it did not take long for God to humble me and to realize just how much growing I had to do! (Don't ever tell God you don't think you have much growing to do...).
After hearing Bonnie's testimony Friday evening, I was reminded of something that God really hit me with at last year's retreat - forgiveness. If Bonnie can forgive her parents' murderers, can I not forgive the one person I still hold so much bitterness toward? He reminded me of this hostile, unforgiving part of my heart again. I had been trying to forget about it but this time, He showed me just exactly what He can do when we choose to let go of that resentment. He changes lives. So not only did Bonnie forgive, she was able to share Jesus with the very people who murdered her parents!
All I want is for this person that I have yet to forgive is to find Jesus and turn her life around. I keep waiting for her "come to Jesus" moment to forgive her. But, maybe the problem is that I have it backwards. Maybe I need to forgive her, and even help her (gasp!) before she can have that breakthrough.
I have been waiting until she changed for me to forgive her. But that isn't what He wants from me. He doesn't wait for me to change to forgive me. He first forgives. Then through His grace and mercy and unconditional forgiveness He changes me.
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Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate with each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32
Thank you, Jennifer, for sharing your heart with us! What did God show you at the retreat? Did you go home a new creation or a recommitted child of God?Have you incorporated some of Bonnie's suggestions in hopes of a more intimate relationship with our Lord?
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Intentionally Friends
Friendships are an amazing, God-given gift. Friends bless our lives, challenge us to improve spiritually, physically, mentally, and encourage our growth. Friends give us secret family recipes and honest feedback on our too-little Little Black Dress or the need for confining girdle-like undergarments (underneath our too-little Little Black Dress). Friends can show us examples of God's love through meals and baby sitting. Friends are a blessing!
As you know, friends can also be trying. Hurt feelings, overly-sensitive remarks, and gossip can cloud our friendships. Trying too hard or not trying at all creates rocky ground for the seeds of friendship. High school-type drama weighs in on compadres, doubt and self-worth increase, and sad hearts are the result.
I am not the gregarious, out going kind of gal you see on a stage. It takes me a while to feel comfortable before letting out my inner extrovert. And God has a peculiar way of weighing matters on our hearts and minds. For me, He gives me an idea or something to mull over and then He will not let up until I do something about it. Some people call that a tendency toward OCD. I call it His desire for me to be obedient. Lately, His call on my heart is regarding friendship. How to cultivate godly relationships with other women that glorify Him.
"You mean be intentional about my friendships, God?" I asked Him. "Don't just call or text when it is convenient for me, Lord?".
Oh. Be intentional? Be a friend who seeks out the one who needs a friend? Oh.
So here goes! Below, are some ways you and I can be intentional in our efforts at creating godly friendships that glorify Him. Some of the ideas are not original to me but are good reminders.
1. Pray - Ask God to show you women that need your friendship and then pay attention to whom He places in your path.
2. Initiate - be the first to walk up to the "new" girl, smile, say your name, and then LISTEN to her.
3. Listen - Listen to her and talk less. Actually focus on what she is saying, where she is coming from, and how God is ministering to her. Focus on her conversation instead of just waiting for her to stop talking so you can talk.
4. Pursue - Pursue her friendship. Invite her to lunch or a play date with the kids. Include her in Pokeno or Bunco. Ask her family over for a barbecue or take-out. Some people need to be wooed before opening themselves up to new relationships.
5. Contact - Texting and emailing can take less than 2 minutes. Don't wait! Send a quick text while waiting in the car pool line or at the doctor's office. Even better - call her on the actual phone! It takes planning so she doesn't hear the organized chaos of 4 screaming banshees in the background but it will be worth it!
6. Transparent - Be a transparent, honest, and sincere person. Let her know the real you so she will be comfortable being the real her. No one has it all together! If we had it all together we wouldn't need Jesus. Be real.
7. Speak life - Guard your tongue against foulness and dirty talk. Make a break from backbiting, gossip, and cattiness. Be gentle and sensitive. Say only words that help and encourage, each word a gift. Ephesians 4:29, 31-32
8. Merciful - Give your friend the benefit of the doubt. Forgive one another quickly and don't harbor anger and bitterness. Love her where she is today and not where you think she ought to be.
9. Pray - Pray for your friend in your quiet time with the Lord. And, pray for her while with her. It is such a gift when a bestie says "Let me pray for you right now". Even at the park or in Starbucks, go to the Lord on her behalf.
10. Serve - Serve her in times of need with a meal, baby sitting, or impromptu house cleaning. Better yet, serve with her. Your relationship can deepen and lengthen while focusing on glorifying Him. Love and serve Him together.
What are your ideas on being an intentional friend? Or, what are your challenges in making and maintaining friendships? Share with us how God has given you an amazing friendship or how He is training you to be a godly friend.
Have a blessed day!
Niki
As you know, friends can also be trying. Hurt feelings, overly-sensitive remarks, and gossip can cloud our friendships. Trying too hard or not trying at all creates rocky ground for the seeds of friendship. High school-type drama weighs in on compadres, doubt and self-worth increase, and sad hearts are the result.
I am not the gregarious, out going kind of gal you see on a stage. It takes me a while to feel comfortable before letting out my inner extrovert. And God has a peculiar way of weighing matters on our hearts and minds. For me, He gives me an idea or something to mull over and then He will not let up until I do something about it. Some people call that a tendency toward OCD. I call it His desire for me to be obedient. Lately, His call on my heart is regarding friendship. How to cultivate godly relationships with other women that glorify Him.
"You mean be intentional about my friendships, God?" I asked Him. "Don't just call or text when it is convenient for me, Lord?".
Oh. Be intentional? Be a friend who seeks out the one who needs a friend? Oh.
So here goes! Below, are some ways you and I can be intentional in our efforts at creating godly friendships that glorify Him. Some of the ideas are not original to me but are good reminders.
1. Pray - Ask God to show you women that need your friendship and then pay attention to whom He places in your path.
2. Initiate - be the first to walk up to the "new" girl, smile, say your name, and then LISTEN to her.
3. Listen - Listen to her and talk less. Actually focus on what she is saying, where she is coming from, and how God is ministering to her. Focus on her conversation instead of just waiting for her to stop talking so you can talk.
4. Pursue - Pursue her friendship. Invite her to lunch or a play date with the kids. Include her in Pokeno or Bunco. Ask her family over for a barbecue or take-out. Some people need to be wooed before opening themselves up to new relationships.
5. Contact - Texting and emailing can take less than 2 minutes. Don't wait! Send a quick text while waiting in the car pool line or at the doctor's office. Even better - call her on the actual phone! It takes planning so she doesn't hear the organized chaos of 4 screaming banshees in the background but it will be worth it!
6. Transparent - Be a transparent, honest, and sincere person. Let her know the real you so she will be comfortable being the real her. No one has it all together! If we had it all together we wouldn't need Jesus. Be real.
7. Speak life - Guard your tongue against foulness and dirty talk. Make a break from backbiting, gossip, and cattiness. Be gentle and sensitive. Say only words that help and encourage, each word a gift. Ephesians 4:29, 31-32
8. Merciful - Give your friend the benefit of the doubt. Forgive one another quickly and don't harbor anger and bitterness. Love her where she is today and not where you think she ought to be.
9. Pray - Pray for your friend in your quiet time with the Lord. And, pray for her while with her. It is such a gift when a bestie says "Let me pray for you right now". Even at the park or in Starbucks, go to the Lord on her behalf.
10. Serve - Serve her in times of need with a meal, baby sitting, or impromptu house cleaning. Better yet, serve with her. Your relationship can deepen and lengthen while focusing on glorifying Him. Love and serve Him together.
What are your ideas on being an intentional friend? Or, what are your challenges in making and maintaining friendships? Share with us how God has given you an amazing friendship or how He is training you to be a godly friend.
Have a blessed day!
Niki